The gift of love...

Today was one of those days. A day that just felt "blah". Like there was just something not quite right about this day in particular. Truly, it took me all day to figure out that this day marked one month!

Lilija opening her package from us last week

So, today is February 15th. That means that it has been one month since Lilie got on that plane and flew back to Latvia. One month since we said, "see you later". One month since we lost a piece of our hearts. Today is the first time in weeks that I have cried. I am missing her deeply today. I think it's that I'm wondering how many more of these "months" do we have? If only one month feels like this, what is month 3 or month 6 going to feel like? Oh, what I would give to just hug her, hold her hand, "google translate" with her! I want to know what she's thinking, feeling, doing...and it's so difficult for her to tell us. I guess we should look at it as one month closer to her being home! Yes, that's what we need to do, celebrate this month of progress and the time we had with our girl... we really should!

We have gotten nearly all of the documents and paperwork together for our homestudy and we are just waiting to get the final word from the attorney in Eastern Europe that we are good to move forward. We have gotten to know some amazing people through this process as well. Some of whom we are sure will be friends of ours forever and have been such a wonderful support system for us. We have gotten to speak with Lilie 4 times now by phone and received one letter from her. Just last week, she received a package from us with letters from Bob and I and Rachel as well as some fun little things we knew she'd love. A worker at the orphanage was kind enough to take pictures of her opening our gift, and we really appreciated this opportunity to see her. She is wearing clothes that we had gotten her while she was here, a necklace that Bob's mom got her for Christmas and a bracelet that was also a gift!  

So, Bob was talking to Rachel about our phone call with Lilie today and she says "It's not fair! You guys get to talk to Lilie while I'm in school, but I'm the one that misses her the most!" "More than Mom or I?" Bob asks. "More than anyone!" Rachel replies.  And after I spoke with Lilie today, I had to rush to Jackson's preschool to perform my duties as "lunch mommy". So, I arrive and Jack says to me, "Mommy, did you talk to Lilie?" I said, "yeah, buddy, I did" and he says, "so, why isn't she here?!". He was so serious, and it broke my heart. Even the little guy misses her. 

After dinner, the kids wanted to play Wii for a little while. Of course, Rachel decided that a game of Wii Dance Party was in order! (In honor of Lilie, who's favorite game on earth is Wii Dance Party!). So Rachel, Nathan, Jack, Mommy and Daddy joined in an exciting rendition of "Womanizer" (Lilie's favorite dance number!).

A visit with Aunt Beth and lots of Wii Dance Party!

All in all, it turned out to be a pretty good day. Bob and I were able to talk to Lilie on the phone today for the first time in 12 days. It was so good to hear her voice. I know that may seem silly. It's not like we have some great conversation. Her english is so poor that she really understands only about 1/10 of anything we say or ask! She says, "yes" to just about anything! But, it's like medicine for the soul just to hear her voice, truly it is. When she giggles, which she did a lot of today, it melts my heart. There is nothing better than knowing that she is happy and loved. That's really what it's all about, those phone calls. It's our way of connecting with her heart, telling her that we're still here for her and we care.

We have discovered through all of this that love is truly a gift. It costs the ones who are giving it something and it is priceless to the one receiving it. It has cost us the pain of seeing our daughter fly away on an airplane unsure of when we would ever see her again. It has cost us the comfort that we used to cling to. It has cost us the ability to close our eyes to those who are hurting and lonely. However, we can say with all honesty, that we would do it again and again and again. It is so worth it, because in the end, we have given one little girl more than she could have ever dreamed of or hoped for...the love of a family! As Lilie would say, "In America, family is good, family is LOVE!"

We love you, Lilie and God loves you, too!!!